Chapter Five | Birdie

Overstay Your Welcome

As the IHA’s logo displays on the projection, I keep my eye on the new recruits. While many lean back in their seats, a few lean in closer, taking in the footage and pleasant commentary with eager eyes and ears. Some even jot down notes into notebooks. It’s all a load of tosh, really, a romanticised depiction of what our work really entails. They’ll learn more from doing than watching.

Kylee locks eyes with me, mouthing her father’s commentary with a cheesy grin: “At the Interstellar Hybrid Agency, we strive for peace and justice across the orbit.”

As her father appears on screen, he clasps his hands together and approaches the camera. It’s the perfect shot: a natural, leafy green backdrop, gentle breezes, natural lighting. He’s a terrible actor though. Although he’s friendly enough in real life, he seems more like a smarmy, self-proclaimed big shot in this clip.

“Hey there, I’m Michael,” he grins. “I run the Field Agency Department, which is just one of the many departments our agency has to offer. Although you might already have an idea of what you want to do, I’ll walk you through all of our employment pathways here at the IHA.” As he gestures to the building behind him with one hand, he ushers the camera forth with the other. “But first, let’s meet the rest of the leadership team!”

An incredibly jarring time-lapse of Kylee’s dad walking inside the office and heading up the three sets of escalators follows suit, and I have to stifle my laughter with a cough.

For the most part, the audience appears quite captivated, although there’s a few instead opting to doze off. And who can blame them? I’ve personally seen this video seven times already: once during our pre-recruitment organisation meeting last year, and six times with each round of traineeships we’ve hosted so far. What this current group don’t know yet is that only a handful of them will make it through to a full or part-time role. The last group only managed to scrape through with four. There were quite a few who were inattentive, lazy, unmotivated. Others tried hard enough, but didn’t meet their deadlines in time.

And then there were those who showed too much interest in their work. Burnt themselves out. 

“We have a total of nine departments across the board, each playing an integral role in the smooth operations of our agency. Although you’ll have a say in which departments you’d like to train for, the department you’ll be assigned to ultimately depends on the data gathered from your pre-screening interviews and pre-entry examination.”

I’d personally interviewed Stella Amero, the Scottish expat living in Brelsford with her widowed father. A charismatic, gorgeous young woman with an affinity for fashion and all things fine in life. She’d also placed in the highest percentile during the IHA pre-entry examination, the only person in the entire group to obtain the top score of 99 marks. I have no doubts she’ll end up running the IHA’s Department of Intelligence in ten years’ time, especially if she can demonstrate her skills in practice.

There’s just the matter of the ties her father has.

The door to my right opens, and with it, the other department heads begin to roll in. Several clutch at mugs of the strongest coffee our cafeteria has to offer, while others haul bags over their shoulders. They’ve already mentored and coached the morning group today, and although they’ve had the opportunity to get home and rest, many haven’t. Most of them live well beyond the boundaries of the national park, with at least a two-hour drive to the closest town. It’s a tough gig, I’ll tell you that much. But it’s also a testament to the utmost proficiency and dedication required to thrive in this sort of environment.

“Once again, thank you all for applying for the Interstellar Hybrid Agency. I’m Michael, and it’s been a pleasure showing you around. Now back to Director Carta for your assignments and agency-issued effects.”

With the lights flaring back to life, Director Carta adjusts the microphone on her blouse before returning her attention to the trainees. A few of those who’d been napping immediately jolt upright. They’ll be lucky if they last a day.

“Any questions?” She peers at the several raised hands, selecting a young man in the third back row. “Yes, Mr Caltino?” He peers at her over his orange-tinted glasses.

“Is this the only IHA office around?”

“No. We have a range of branches across the orbit. In Ashberry alone, we have six different offices. Ortus Point is, however, our home base of operations. Next question?” She purses her lips, scanning the audience before finally selecting a woman near the front. “Miss Morgan?”

“Will there be accommodation we can stay at nearby?” she asks her. All of the other hands quickly shoot back down.

Oh, yes. I was waiting for someone to ask about that!

“That’s an excellent question.” A smile spreads across her lips. “We do have some dormitories on the neighbouring property for our trainees, however, quite a few from the morning group have booked them out already.” Groans course their way through the audience, with a few disappointed sighs weaved through for added effect. “Unfortunately, there are only a few individual rooms left at $200 a week, and a shared room for four left at $50 each a week. Due to the daily costs associated with running and maintaining the facilities, we will also have to deduct a weekly fee of $40 from your paycheck if you choose to stay there.” She takes in a deep breath. “Otherwise, a free daily shuttle service runs from the bus stations in the towns of Keelstone and Parade Heights. I believe it runs at 6 AM each morning for the day agents and 8 PM every evening for the night agents.”

The accommodation is what catches most people off guard. There’s plenty who are more than capable of the work, but it’s either fighting for a spot to live here or a three-hour round trip each day at best. All in all, the pricing isn’t too bad, but I know the spots will be snatched up within a matter of minutes. While I was initially a bit confused when I started about the lack of housing around here, and why they didn’t just build more of it, Director Carta had made an excellent point.

We had to hide our new headquarters here for a reason. Look what happened to the old HQ in New Sydney.

“Any final questions?” Director Carta tilts her head to the side. “No?” She claps her hands together and gives the rest of us a smile. “Well, I won’t keep you waiting any longer. Let’s take a look at your assignments!” She presses another button on her remote, bringing up a slideshow presentation. “Our department heads will call out each of their trainees. If your name is called, I’d like for you to stand and bring your belongings. Your mentor will show you to your working quarters.”

This part’s a bit of a slug to get through, especially as some of the first trainees to be called up for the Department of Communications are in the middle of the seats. But after they and the trainees for the next three departments head off, it’s smooth sailing from there. As expected, Stella’s off to the Department of Intelligence for what will surely be a long and fruitful career. As the numbers continue to dwindle, a few of them squirm in their seats. There’s no doubt they’ll be wondering if there’s some bonus test they somehow missed. And to that, they’re right.

“And finally, our Department of Research,” Director Carta concludes. “Three trainees, one available position. Dr Claire Rogers, Mr Mercer Caltino and Miss Teresa Dolton. You’ll be mentored by my younger daughter, Bilara.”

Only one spot. Let’s hope Tessa figures that out soon.

As the three quickly gather their belongings and scurry off after the young, pink-haired Solacian, I notice Tessa seems to be...defeated. Although I hadn’t interviewed her myself, I know she’d been hoping for a spot in Communications. But with mannerisms such as hers, how can she expect to thrive? No, this is for the best.

“Wait...” one gentleman in his forties murmurs. “What about the rest of us?”

Kylee may be incredibly blunt, but she’s correct. Someone like her could never make it through with their morale intact. It’ll be a shock to everyone if she makes it through the program. I’m admittedly surprised Director Carta even gave her the go-ahead in the first place.

But then again, she’s nine thousand and thirty-five. Nothing gets past her anymore.

“Well,” she begins, her smile faltering. “Unfortunately, a few things have...well, popped up regarding you five.”

The other man rises from his seat, but before he even has the chance to make a move, her neatly-manicured index finger jabs in his direction.

“I know you’re in leagues with him,” she continues quietly, her halo beginning to glow from her temples. “You really think I’d let the likes of you into the IHA? I know what you’re after, too.”

“Are you serious?! We’re here to train just like anyone else!”

“Don’t give me that old line now.” As her carefully-plucked eyebrows begin to narrow, she motions for me to close the door. “We got word that you lot would be here to steal the Treatise of the Magna Carta. But rest assured, that won’t be happening...not under my watch.”

The first man’s hand drifts underneath his jacket. A glint of metal flashes in the light.

“No sudden moves,” she warns him.

But it’s too late.

He lunges for her with a sharp, steel dagger. A searing beam of light, white-hot and humming with harmonic vibration, concentrates in the centre of her halo before lashing out and sending him flying back into the walls. He curls up into a ball and clutches his head in pain.

“Argh!” He writhes on the spot, serving as a warning to his friends not to test her quickly-waning patience.

The rest stare at her, their jaws dropped and eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

“Now...” she decides, satisfied that they won’t try anything else. “If the rest of you would like to leave with your lives intact, then you’ll tell us everything I want to know.”

“It’s too late,” he grunts back at her. “He’s...already found it!”